A Captured Moment of Grief, from the Heart of an Adult Daughter

Experience the transformative journey of grief to hope after the loss of a loved one. Find solace and inspiration in these words from SoulSpring's founder Wynne Stallings.

The following was written after the recent passing of my father this year. Like so many years ago in a teenage bedroom, I have found myself channeling my feelings through the power of the pen. One particularly painful Sunday morning, the following piece just flowed out of me. Like a photograph, it is literally a captured moment of grief.

From a literary perspective, the content is not well organized and the paragraphs don't flow well together, But, that's how feelings are...they come out of nowhere and bounce all around until we finally work through them.

Reading the piece now, with some emotional distance and retrospect, I can see how I started in my feelings, then moved into solution seeking mode to help me regain my emotional balance, and in the end I arrived at a place of hope. And this is a kind of hope that lives in anticipation...not in anger. I share my process with you...maybe you can relate, and if you need some, maybe, you could find your hope too.

Feeling the Feelings

Anger is on one side of a traumatic response, and depression is on the other. Anger is a sign of hope, because in anger we are still energized and motivated to fix our pain. Depression is a sign of lost hope, of giving up, of learned helplessness.

The way out of an angry life is slowing down enough to feel our pain and turn it over to a Power greater than ourselves.

One way out of depression (and there are many) is to get PISSED and finally take some action and to do something about our pain. Enough is enough!!

Some of us need our anger to motivate us because we've been putting up with crap for far too long. And some of us need to let our hearts out of their protective cages, to feeeeeel the hurt, and to release what we've been holding inside for far too long.

Seeking Solutions

There is too much out there jacking with our lives on a daily basis. We can't fight every battle. We can't right every wrong. We have to learn to trust that there is a "justice system" out there that will call all behavior into account one day. Even our own. None of us gets a pass.

Setting boundaries and learning to let go are two sides of the same coin on the road to peace. Boundaries protect us from further "assaults", and acceptance allows us to let go of what we cannot change. Together, they transition us from surviving to living to thriving. I'm pretty sure it's worth the struggle to get there. I'm still finding out myself. But I'm not giving up. I know for a fact my emotional freedom is worth the pain to get there.

Finding Hope

...consider the flower: Flowers just want to keep growing. Provided good soil, sunlight, water and TLC, they will bloom and shine delightfully for all to see. Even if they get trampled or neglected, if there's any life left, the damaged flower still wants to grow into its beauty. And, the great news is, with reparative TLC, it still can!

Why should human souls be any different?

Even for the trampled and neglected folks of this world, there is still hope to arrive at a beautiful destination. Is your beauty worth it? Is mine? I think so, but we still have to go through the struggle to see it.

Growth Through Struggle

And think of the butterfly....The cocooned caterpillar never develops its gorgeously resilient wings until after the struggle of growing them strong enough to bust out. I don't know about you, but I am determined to bust out.