Persons who grew up in homes which were consistently lacking nurture, affirmation, & empowerment and/or were abusive, punitive, or otherwise chaotic, often share a number of traits as a result of growing up in these homes. Both the “People Pleaser” and the “Narcissist” come from dysfunctional homes; they are two sides of the same coin. All Adult Children struggle with interpersonal relationships or a sense of confidence in their abilities, or both.

Many Adult Children know what it’s like to appear successful to the outside world, only to be struggling with their own mental health or addiction issues behind closed doors. Living the “False Self” decade after decade is exhausting. Recovering from the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional home requires finding the courage to lay down our protective “survival skills” and open up more choices to act instead of react. The fellowship of Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families states, “The Solution [to healing] is to become your own loving parent.” Here are some excerpts:   

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“The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation. By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to re-parent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect. When we release our parents from responsibility for our actions today, we become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors. We progress from hurting, to healing, to helping. We awaken to a sense of wholeness we never knew was possible…You will not do this alone. Look around you and you will see others who know how you feel. This is a spiritual program based on action coming from love. We are sure that as the love grows inside you, you will see beautiful changes in all your relationships, especially with God, yourself, and your parents.”