"I feel like I have faced quite a few obstacles in my life: a major health issue in 2014, completion of my PhD coursework, and adopting a daughter, to name a few. However, my divorce in 2009 after 16 years of marriage was the most challenging obstacle I had to overcome. I don't believe anyone gets married with the intention of getting a divorce, and it certainly was not my plan when I married at 22 years of age.

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Back then, I didn't know that my own history of coming from a divorced family actually increased the chances that I would wind up divorced myself. I also didn’t know that quality premarital counseling would have increased my chances of staying married by 80 percent. All I knew was that I was a bright-eyed enthusiastic recent college grad…. oh, and that we were "in love." 

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The marriage was more bad than good, as he struggled with addiction issues and I struggled with what I now recognize as codependency. After seeking therapy and spiritual counseling, and after graduating with my Master's Degree in Mental Health Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy, I knew too much to pretend like I didn't. I made the difficult decision to file for a divorce. This created a great conflict in me as a Christian because I felt like the message I repeatedly heard in church was how much God hates divorce.

 

I remember crying out to God to save my marriage, but I also remember hearing from God that He would not. God chose instead to sacrifice my bad marriage, and in the process He built in me a heart for marriage. I believe my career as a Marriage Therapist is the beauty that has come from the ashes of my divorce.

 

I love and believe in marriage, and when done with wisdom, I think it is a beautiful relationship where safety, security and stability can be established. My goal for every couple I encounter is that they should not have to suffer in or through their marriage, but enjoy it as God intended."